So today, would be my second wedding anniversary .... guess it still is since the divorce isn't final. It it hitting me ... I didn't think it would, but I am sad , crying and feeling like a failure all over again. I know I did all I could to save my marriage while being true to myself. (Thankfully the crying spell is over (and short) .. let's just hope that I don't find those feelings again ...)
I know I made mistakes, I trusted when I shouldn't have, I didn't speak up and take care of myself earlier. I was the one that didn't let him come back when he wanted to, because I knew nothing changed. I became a realist and that didn't work within my marriage.
But maybe this is the kick int he butt that I needed. I am finally taking care of myself in ways that I had dreamed, but didn't think could happen. I know I have changed a lot in the last year. I don't want to become that person again who isn't honest with her feelings and always takes care of others before even thinking of what is best for her.
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2 comments:
I think it's often the case that doing the RIGHT thing is not necessarily the EASY thing. Divorce sucks, no way around it. But if you know you're on the right path, you just have to hang in there and trust that you'll end up happier once you're finally on the other side of it. Hang in there. *hugs*
I cannot even imagine what you are going through, but I know you did the right thing. You are as kind, supportive, and generous as anyone I know. Hang in there. When I was going through a tough spell a year or so ago I said this phrase every morning. It's from the poem "Don't Quit."
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road your trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When life presses you down a bit
Rest if you must...but don't you quit
Not for sure if you are someone who likes this kind of thing, but while the words themselves did not solve my problems they did help me feel strong when I felt weak. Have a great 4th...
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